I can't be *bothered* with this........

Top Contributors
kallis fan

kallis fan

New Member
I can't be *bothered* with this........

......'this' being cricket. Had a trial yesterday and the above was my thoughts throughout the trial. It wasn't the trial, no, it was the prospect should I be selected to then play in the games. Yes, I have played representative cricket for my county before, but generally I only have 'doubts' come the time to play the games, rather than at the point of trials when I have a list of my intentions in my head of what I intend to do for the county during that season......but never come to fruition.

How do I move forward from this? How am I ever going to do myself justice if my heart is not in it?

:confused:

:cursing:
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

kallis fan said:
How do I move forward from this? How am I ever going to do myself justice if my heart is not in it?
Click to expand...

Unfortunately KF, if your heart is not in it, there is no way you can do yourself justice. :(

It is sad when a talented player with great potential feels like this but it happens... you are not the first to feel this way and will, no way, be the last.

You should play cricket for the fun of it; the fun seems to have gone for you and although I can understand the reasons, [I assure you, I do and I know it is not all your fault] without that basic desire, you are probably flogging a dead horse here.

You have to tell your Dad how you truly feel; he will be gutted but he is there to help you. He may have a few suggestions.

You could continue as you are and hope your feelings will change once the season has started and success begins to show;

You could take the season off representative and, if necessary, competitive cricket and learn to play just for fun; or

You could give up cricket all together and see if the desire returns.

Whatever you decide to do, think about it carefully and ensure the decision is your's. Life is too short to be doing something you really do not want to do.

Let us know how it goes. It may be worth waiting to see what comes out of the trials. If you are accepted, do you know who the Manager/Coach will be? Do you think you can work well with them? Are they inspirational?
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

Great tips from Liz.

I would add that feelings of loss of desire usually have deeper feelings underneath.

Some people use "I can't be bothered" as a defence mechanism against the fear of failure for example.

Try and think what it is that stops you from caring.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

By the way, fear of failure is a very common thing and a natural reaction (think 'fight or flight'). Most people get it but very few are prepared to admit it.

In your case I have no idea if this is true of course.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

HD,

Culmination of 3 major factors.....

Frustration at own lack of development
Fear of failure
General lack of enjoyment

Liz,

The problem being leaving representative cricket is that I am the county's 'Player Development Scheme'. Any withdrawal may be considered a 'kick in the teeth' and effectively make any chances of a 'comeback' very small....

I think I'm just going to have to plod on, in all honesty.

The manager and coach are alright, no issue there. Wouldn't term them inspirational, but sound all the same.....;)
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

kallis fan said:
The problem being leaving representative cricket is that I am the county's 'Player Development Scheme'. Any withdrawal may be considered a 'kick in the teeth' and effectively make any chances of a 'comeback' very small....
Click to expand...

It also sounds like you are feeling trapped ;)

It sounds to me that you are feeling a lot of pressure at the moment; not necessarily just to do with playing but you seem to feel you have no control of your life.

I actually think you want to do it, its just that you are not an automaton; you have a decent brain and want more of a say on how you progress and develop.

If this is the case, show them that you can take responsibility. Ask if you can participate in the ECB Young Leaders Award; they may eventually get you involved in the 'thinking' process.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

All is not lost....ex pro has got in touch again.... ;)...I tried to change my writing style in order to help him understand better whilst at the same time changing my email address......maybe he thought someone else was masquerading as me...? Who knows.....I certainly don't!!!!!

I read a very interesting and informative piece on 'fear of failure'.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/how-fear-of-failure-destroys-success.html

Not at all cricket related, but a good article all the same IMHO.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

It is indeed an interesting article. Did you read it all, links as well? I especially liked the idea of Overcoming the Fear of Failure.

Remember, without trial and error, there would be no TV, no computers, no life saving drugs, no life saving surgical operations! Many people died whilst the experts were perfecting heart operations; people still die but should the surgeons stop?


Perhaps the ex-pro has been abroad for a while.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

Admittedly, haven't read the links.....one for tomorrow I think!!

Liz - it's a funny one re; ex pro. Email him off one account - response is always forthcoming. Email him off another - no response (but it definitely works!!).... ;)

I'll just have to use the old account...problem solved. :)
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

It maybe that his account does not recognise one of your's and they end up in his 'spam' bin and, maybe, automatically deleted.

Do read the links and do let me know what you think.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

It is a good post and I especially liked the two below mentioned post's:
1) 7 Habits To Win In Office Politics.
2) How to Ask For a Raise. :D
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

In order to meet long term goals I need to fail. Failure will allow me to identify areas to work on.

It's all about changing the thinking....

(just read 'overcoming the fear of failure')

:cool
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

Get a new personal cricket coach on the side, hopefully he will give you some more ideas and get you excited for cricket again. Maybe it won't work for you, but it did wonders for me.

But yeh, I don't know the feeling fully, I know what it feels like in cricket when you just want to give up; I've had it just a couple of months ago. I hated my coach (still do), didn't think I was ready for u16s and thought I'd give it all up, but my other coach, the one that I like, really got me through with a bit of help from my mates. I really think you need someone there to tell you that you're good enough, you're up to standard. That's why I reckon you need a good private coach or mentor figure there, if not for enhanced cricketing ability, but for the support. Anyway, it probably doesn't apply to you, carry on.

Just go out in club cricket and muck around. Socialise during that batting innings heaps, go out and slog, bowl bouncers at the batsman's head (I just realised you are an off spinner, well bowl pace and bowl bouncers :p ), produce over the top celebrations when someone in your team gets a wicket.

Sorry I'm not the best at help, especially since I don't know you personally, but good luck, I'm sure you'll find your love of cricket again, everyone goes through these patches.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

kallis fan said:
In order to meet long term goals I need to fail. Failure will allow me to identify areas to work on.

It's all about changing the thinking....

(just read 'overcoming the fear of failure')

:cool
Click to expand...

Absolutely! Do not ever fear 'failure', its what makes the World go round.

If you try something and you do not get the expected result, learn from it and try again... and again... and again! If everything came easy to us, what a boring life we would lead and how would we know whether we were progressing?

All 'failure' is, is a measure of our success; it is your friend, not your enemy!
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

Though you're in a different position to me and you have fallen out of love with cricket for a different reason, do try to soldier on, even if you have to take a break from the game fro a little while.

When I use to work in the industry, I was surrounded by the game 24/7, no matter what it was always there. I got sick to death of it, sick of the people, the expectation and really the whole bundle. It affected my game meaning that I put extra pressure on myself and I got to a point similar to yours when I would dread a game coming up or even the mention of the word.

I took a bit of time out, changed clubs to get a fresh perspective on things and took a bit of a back seat. I only played for fun and when I did I tried to make sure that it was useful e.g, helping out of the youngsters etc.

Jonesy makes a good point in that a different coach may give you something different, he may be able to rekindle your interest. It may be a cliché, but a change is sometimes as good as a rest.

I read that you are on some kind of development scheme and worry that if you take a time out it may cause problems, well, don't be. Talk to someone you trust and explain the situation - if your heart isn't in it, you're not going to be much more use than if you weren't there. I'm sure that they have had experience of this sort of thing before and should be understanding. They may even have ideas to help.

As for the failure thing, then it's just something that you'll have to try to experience. I posted in the other thread that I suffer from the fear of failure thing as well, it stops me going to Uni as I'm scared I won't be able to make it through - deep down I know that I shouldn't have a problem, yet I let it stop me. It's silly but then again it's irrational and like many irrational things you either say sod it and just try to get past it or you let it win.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

Some nice advice in here, and thanks to all that have offered their two penny worth on the matter.... ;)

Re the new coach thing, I'm not sure if that it is the answer tbh. I'd be hard pressed to find someone as keen to help me as the ex pro and I am in the process of compiling a batting video to enable him to take a glance at from the technical side. But, he puts great emphasis on the mental side. I like him, is a decent role model to follow in his attitude towards his game etc and his experience playing with Dhoni etc is not something to be taken lightly.

And, yes, I know it isn't face to face and in that respect it isn't ideal, but he is as close to a personal mentor as I'd probably ever have and I have a huge amount of respect for him.

Re; telling someone, well I am a very private person. As silly as this may sound, I honestly believe I've come a fair way in a matter of days since this topic was started.

I've changed my ideas on failure - I'm starting to look at the bigger picture. It won't be an overnight process, but hopefully I can put forward this in training sessions before the season and I will go out to bat with two intentions

a) to enjoy
b) learn further about my game

I should relish any opportunity. It is an opportunity to find out where I am at and crucially where I need to improve. Failure needs to be treated as the guide to success. In a sense you want someone to expose that weakness - in terms of long term goals, it is beneficial. It is about looking beyond the surface - yes low scores are disappointing but long term they are crucial to overall development.

Liz,

I have an urge to write about my game. Please give guidance on what I should write about..... :D
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

You have made such ground and I really think you have turned a corner. You should be extremely proud of yourself, I am prodigiously proud of you. I believe your main stumbling block was perspective; I think you now have it. The work begins... ;)

kallis fan said:
I have an urge to write about my game. Please give guidance on what I should write about..... :D
Click to expand...

Are you talking about a private journal, just for your own development and progression or would you like to make it public?

If you felt you could make it public and put your thoughts in your blog, I should like to read it.

You could make it a public journal where you wrote about the day's activity:
Fitness training - what you did;
Cricket training - how you think it went, what was good/bad;
Actual game - how many runs, how/if you were out, how you think you can improve/progress, how the team/opposition played.

In fact, you could write about anything you wanted, anything on your mind.
 
Re: I can't be *bothered* with this........

Well that sounds a reasonable idea.....

Just writing about my thoughts and how I am progressing.

Also, shall I do like quotes?

I mean like using sticky labels, putting them around my room.....

Things like...

'Failure is necessary to improve.'

'In order to succeed we must fail. Failure helps us identify what we need to do in order to reach the long term goal.'
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top