Best Sledge heard this season in VTCA

Not really a sledge, but funny story.

During Cockbain's 136 where he had a period of sweeping the Brighton skipper he came up and said "You're just a little arrogant F*$%^er aren't you?". To which he replies, "if you weren't being such a negative S%*&bag bowling a foot outside off stump to an 8-1 field where am I supposed to hit it"

Put him right back-in-his-box!
 
Not really a sledge, but funny story.

During Cockbain's 136 where he had a period of sweeping the Brighton skipper he came up and said "You're just a little arrogant F*$%^er aren't you?". To which he replies, "if you weren't being such a negative S%*&bag bowling a foot outside off stump to an 8-1 field where am I supposed to hit it"

Put him right back-in-his-box!

Like it! A few years back playing Kratzy, with one of his numerous clubs, Mordi player "Mayo" was forced to remark after Kratzy took his helmet off to clear his face of sweat, "Oh for chrissake put that back on! You're not doing anyone any favours- least of all yourself" I guess if you've ever seen Kratzy you'd understand the remark
 
mentone player: cmon on mate there was 2 there...
a plump beaumaris player: F... Off what would you know....
a hotheaded mentone player: The only single this guy likes is kraft....

beaumaris player back in his box
 
A few years ago, playing against Nth Caulf when Kratzy was skipper..... he had Paul Brostor bowling his offies into a strong wind and Kratzy bowling his nude leggies with it. Wattsy had taken Brossy for a few the previous over and then launched Kratzy into the tennis courts 2 massive 6's out of 4 balls from the other end. I was at first slip and Brossy came in from point and said to Wattsy "I am not sure who is enjoying this more, you or me".....
 
Two seasons back, canny old pro bowling to a former team mate gets one to nip away on a good lenth and beat the bat,
Old pro - "Like that one did ya, drop a dollar coin there I'll hit it all *&^%ing day!"
Batsman- "Not bloody likely- it'd be in your back pocket after one follow through!"
 
An old one - Jeff Kennett had just been elected, and i was struggling a bit. Guy from fine leg shouts out - "This guy is like Jeff Kennett. He got in ok, but now has no idea what to do" Umpire had to stop play!!!
Teammate approaching 40yo, playing against Darrin Pattinson on a slightly damp wicket. Rain started, and he was getting sprinkles on his glasses. He waited till Patto was at the end of his mark, took the glasses off, and handed them to the umpire, saying rather loudly - "dont need these anyway". proceeded to hit the next (slightly quicker) ball for four
 
last year playing hampton next to the ladies at Dendy Park. Pommy guy says to the smallest bloke in the team who was about 5ft nothing "1 of the bigger girls out there could use you as a dildo! It took me a while to face the next ball..

We have some great banter with Muzza & Sharpy from Chelsea, good blokes, good players & fun to play against!
 
last year playing hampton next to the ladies at Dendy Park. Pommy guy says to the smallest bloke in the team who was about 5ft nothing "1 of the bigger girls out there could use you as a dildo! It took me a while to face the next ball..

We have some great banter with Muzza & Sharpy from Chelsea, good blokes, good players & fun to play against!

Must have been one of your rare games on turf
 
inferior comp playing cricket today, good work to cancel play today hack... another great decision.. send any texts this week loser? Just get out of the comp so it has a chance to run prorperly not with jokes like u sticking their bitter little noses in. Nothign is ever gonna change that suspension u copped 25 years ago ...nothing... suck it up princess
 
inferior comp playing cricket today, good work to cancel play today hack... another great decision.. send any texts this week loser? Just get out of the comp so it has a chance to run prorperly not with jokes like u sticking their bitter little noses in. Nothign is ever gonna change that suspension u copped 25 years ago ...nothing... suck it up princess

You seem to be in the know BPMG - tell me which Turf Comp is playing today and I'll go and have a look.
 
From a couple of seasons ago, Funky Miller took gaurd against Aberfeldie Park, Albers strolls in and gets one to nip past the outside edge on a green top and the call from first slip was " welcome to north b1" Very amusing to all in ear shot considering the man was test player of the year 2 or 3 years prior. He went on and smashed us for 50 odd.
 
From a couple of seasons ago, Funky Miller took gaurd against Aberfeldie Park, Albers strolls in and gets one to nip past the outside edge on a green top and the call from first slip was " welcome to north b1" Very amusing to all in ear shot considering the man was test player of the year 2 or 3 years prior. He went on and smashed us for 50 odd.
Thanks Punter- great call on Funky, pretty sure he'd appreciate it!

More on field sledges, witticisms - less attempted sledging, 'witticisms' online thanks fellas
 
Heres a ripper from about 10 years ago when ex-Test captain Graham Yallop was playing for Mordialloc against Cheltenham.
Now Mordi and Chelt didnt exactly get along too well that this point in time so the Chelt boys thought they would have some fun at Yallop's expense.
When he was brought onto bowl the two Chelt batsmen doing the scoring yelled out "bowler's name?" to which the Mordi players and Yallop replied with some disgust "...YALLOP!"
The Chelt scorers replied with "How do you spell that?!"
Needless to say the Mordi boys weren't too happy but the closest Mordi fielder spelt out his name for them.
They all then turn around and get ready for the over to start when the two Chelt scorers yell out "Initial?"
It didn't go down to well thats for sure!
One of the funniest things I have ever seen or heard!
 
Heres a ripper from about 10 years ago when ex-Test captain Graham Yallop was playing for Mordialloc against Cheltenham.
Now Mordi and Chelt didnt exactly get along too well that this point in time so the Chelt boys thought they would have some fun at Yallop's expense.
When he was brought onto bowl the two Chelt batsmen doing the scoring yelled out "bowler's name?" to which the Mordi players and Yallop replied with some disgust "...YALLOP!"
The Chelt scorers replied with "How do you spell that?!"
Needless to say the Mordi boys weren't too happy but the closest Mordi fielder spelt out his name for them.
They all then turn around and get ready for the over to start when the two Chelt scorers yell out "Initial?"
It didn't go down to well thats for sure!
One of the funniest things I have ever seen or heard!

W A L L Y!!
 
Certain interstate cricketer in charge of raging red-hot favorites one season, defending 300 and plenty, walking (waddling) down the pitch between overs with his usual charming whingeing and moaning.
Batsman, "What's wrong *****? How come you're so cranky? Aren't they feeding you on Jetstar anymore you fat c***?"
Cue keeper, slips and gully; hands on kness in outright laughter at their great skipper.
*****, "Mumble, mumble, frickin, snarkle, fkn smartass!"
Batsman, "Great comeback...."
 
inferior comp playing cricket today, good work to cancel play today hack... another great decision.. send any texts this week loser? Just get out of the comp so it has a chance to run prorperly not with jokes like u sticking their bitter little noses in. Nothign is ever gonna change that suspension u copped 25 years ago ...nothing... suck it up princess

Can you enlighten us on why Southern Sludge got suspended for 25 years??
 
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